OVERFLOW>

**I added everything with asterisks an entire year later after extracting this post from my drafts (,:**

This thought sort of came across my mind as I was putting together the previous blog. I thought it would be cool to see where the rest of my train of thought will take this..

"And then Jasmine and I came in with that extended instrumental after the bridge and improvised until the end of our hearts. Mics off. They could hear us too. Last night was about the silent overflow. You couldn't see it. You couldn't hear it. But you could feel it. Silent overflow."

Another praise opportunity at a cool little concert gig. Another praise opportunity. ANOTHER. I've done this worship stuff for quite a bit. You could say that I've gotten used to it and that I could be considered a natural. Yeah yeah whatever. So often do I hear the same compliments, "wow you did so well!" "you never cease to amaze me" "your passion is awesome" "when you sing, it's so beautiful!" I appreciate every single one of them, don't get me wrong. However, I don't worship for those compliments. I worship because of this indescribable feeling, the unattainable experience, and unforgettable encounters.

THE FEELING

What is this feeling I speak of? Well let's see what words come together. After worship, I feel content. I feel wonderful knowing that I chose to worship and spread even the slightest of His word. The world could have tempted me to go elsewhere. The world could have tempted me to think elsewhere. I could sleep in and chill on Saturday mornings. Instead, I chose Jesus. like how Jesus chose me. Us.

*Just this last Saturday, I visited Crosswalk Church after singing at Paradox Church. Boy, it has been a long while since I've felt that type of worship. Despite my current spiritual challenges, I found myself immersed in the pounding drums and belting lead singer. Lifting my hands and closing my eyes, communion with those around me on a blessed Sabbath day. It was the best feeling in the world to know that I could spend my Sabbath mornings in pure worship and ease. I realized that 80% of my life has been consumed by worship and truthfully, I wouldn't want it any other way.

THE EXPERIENCE

Leading worship is usually the same routine. Practice four songs two hours before (if you're lucky enough and the musicians show up on time) ((I am a victim)) and then get the show on the road. *Or at least now, it's three songs. I used to think that it was dangerous for worship to become a routine because then the experience becomes less meaningful. But I realized it's the worship experiences that seem meaningless that are most meaningful. Woah woah mint stop with the smart talk, rephrase please! okay basically, when you do something too much, it becomes second nature, right? well that's what worship is to me. I think that's so awesome. It's in me and my blood. Worship is just that easy. I'm no longer afraid. The multiple experiences I have faced due to worship has allowed me to grow into this individual that isn't afraid to initiate the conversation in any circumstances, is more open about her heart unapologetically of course, and is more empathetic and respectful to her surroundings. A lot comes with being a worship leader. After a while, you feel like a veteran who knows when the strings should come in and when the builds should start even before starting the song.

THE ENCOUNTERS

There are one too many. Being involved in worship leading has opened my eyes to these broken people in front of me. My most powerful moments are definitely during re|GEN vespers. I'll try to extract whatever memories I can. During the November vespers, I had a friend named Yenna who came for the first time to our ministry and she just stood there with her hands open, immersed in the worship. She just stood. And I saw her heart in colors; they spilled out and I was so touched.

On a typical Saturday morning, the Word spoke about the resurrection. Before heading into the last song, we were encouraged to have a small group prayer and so I prayed with my precious friend Natalie and Jose. She led the prayer and stopped for a second and began to bawl about how mighty Jesus is and how overwhelmed she felt by his grace on that day He fell and rose again. I was touched yet again. I cried with her. The small act of prayer could draw the heart and tears of a devout lover of Christ. WoW.

In the September vesper, several of my friends from choir who come from various religious backgrounds took up an entire row of seats in our beloved room 206. I led out Love on the Line and right before the bridge, I said, "if you choose Christ, life your hands with me." Thank you God for opening my eyes and lifting my head at the brief moment even though most of it was blurred out by the tears in my eyes. I saw all my friends lift their hands. all of them plus everyone else in the room. Such a powerful moment in my faith in which I knew God was looking out for us.

Church on Campus. I led Love on the Line yet AGAIN. I cracked so hard at the bridge into the chorus but shoot the entire building was feeling it with me. Granted, it was dark because AV made it so that audience is dark but Jesus thank you. Those people wept with me. and I remember making eye contact with one girl in particular who had tears in her eyes as well. In one of our optical encounters, I heard "thank you." Just by looking, I felt. I ran after her after the program to give her a hug but she disappeared. Whoever she was, my heart is with you.

I've met some of my bestest friends through worship and music. Cole is one big story but my heart goes out to him always. Martin is so passionate for the keys and ripping them out for Christ especially when it comes to a Gospel song; THIS GUY'S TALENT IS UNBELIEVABLE. I had the privilege of getting to know JJ, Cameron, Christian, Andrew, Tiago, and all the other La Sierra boys that I wouldn't have known otherwise had it not been for Renaissance and mutual friends. I brought my homie, Grace, into worship and now she's out on her own agenda. All these people that I have had the privilege to meet and grow with through worship and Christ is just amazing. simply and beautifully amazing.

No matter how CONSUMING worship becomes, His love will always flow through me.

MY SONG IS FOREVER HIS AND NOTHING WILL SILENCE ME!!!

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Build my life by Housefires//One of Us by ABBA//All the Poor and Powerless by the Digital Age