OHANA MEANS FRAMILY

If I told myself last year that I'd end up in a friend group that began at GYC because of a room change and the back of a Spotify shirt, I would have laughed and brushed it off. but here we are.

I attended General Youth Conference in Phoenix, Arizona last December and truthfully, I learned very little spiritually. At least, I kept falling asleep during the sermons and seminars. I really wished I could have been enlightened because those speakers had so much to offer and I still regret to this hour that I struggled so hard to listen. But He still remains good. because my blessing came in the form of souls and hearts.

At this youth conference, I thirsted for something to change me. To strengthen me. I wanted to find Christ in someone or something in that place. I looked for it too. I once stayed back and separated from the group to walk around the booths and look for someone to reach out to me and enlighten me. Something to stand out and tell me to change. I was unsuccessful. I remember it was dark and cold on that walk back to the hotel, more cold especially since I was alone. I cried out to God.

"God you know my intentions. Lead me to what I need. Bring me to that one thing that will change my life for the better and make me happier. I am so stuck in this abyss of nothingness and I need growth. I need change. Please why am I empty-handed?!! I can't even focus on a speaker. I can run on three hours of sleep on an arduous school day but can't keep my eyelids open for an hour long seminar. Why do you drain me like this?"

I blamed Him and me a lot. I didn't quite understand why things unraveled so awkwardly. And then I made it into the lobby and there everyone was. They were in the lobby trying to figure out where to eat dinner and I felt my heart become warmer. Not only because the lobby evidently had a heater on, but because all these comforting and laughter-filled people were sitting. No one roasted me for breaking off the group or anything. They just asked if I was okay and obviously I wasn't but I brushed it off and joined in on their evening plans. I left out several forgotten details about bonding and stuff but basically, I got so close with Britney, Ivanka, Cinder, and Hannah and rooming with them is the best best best bestest thing that has ever happened. HONESTLY I LOVE THOSE GORLS GAHHH.

But Saturday night happened.

Us five were en route to meet up with Bry, Jon, and Sam in the patio where they froze and waited for years because we encountered a vulnerable and broken Ka Edelyn. Imagine five hobos creeping through a hotel hallway toward the elevators like mice so we wouldn't get caught. And the very person we had to be most wary of was crying next to the elevators of the floor she wasn't even staying on!!!! We said nothing. We brought our blanket and hearted and covered her with both. I ran back for a box of tissues prior to the encounter because i knew us eight would have a deep dmc and I whipped it out for her tears. talk about a coincidence, right? I prayed with them and we let her go. Obviously, she let us off with a laugh and us five met with the three on the patio. I think I started off and started jabbering about my intentions of finding a life-changing experience. In that very moment, I found it. The seven people that faced me, the seven pair of ears and eyes that gave their attention to me, the seven souls that collided with mine. They changed my life without realizing it. I didn't realize that they brought so much laughter and ease to my stress and worries. I bawled so hard. God opened my eyes at the end of my search. He had been leading to what I needed the entire time. They were there since the beginning. Wow. God didn't give me an experience that came with instructions on how to change myself and be happier. Not at all.

He gave me these people to give me strength so that I could make the instructions for myself.

Now I have seven homies that I can lean on and freely talk about my mind and heart and of course, I have several other important people in my life. I will never forget them. but something about the stupid in each one of them makes me have so much love. Our jokes are numerous and I don't know how to explain this other than I love spending time with framily. Always a good laugh and a good cry somewhere in between the chaos. I wouldn't have asked for it any other way.

Brit. Cin. Han. Jon. Bry. Sam. Ivank. –

if any of you manage to run into this post, I just want to say that my heart goes out to you. I've never laughed harder in my life than with you. Life is much more vibrant and colorful and I thank God always, I always care for you all despite the troubles and distance and whatever life brings in between. I'm excited to live life with each one of you. God bless you. I love you more than all the chihuahua memes we could ever find.

now excuse me as I try to finish lit (:

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Gentlemen Don't by Gabe Bopndoc//One of Us by Amanda Seyfried//Kick It by Christian Layone