Let's try this again (2021)

⚲ No Idea

⏱︎ Sometime in 2021

Well I had a decent amount of content written but my weird Apple Pencil screwed me over. Great. Well looks like I have to do this over again. *clear throat* as I was saying, saying that my life completely changed would be an understatement. But I also don’t want to sound too cliché so I don’t want to say that, but truly, I don’t even know where to begin.

I left off at framily and well that doesn’t exist anymore. I don’t think any of them know this blog exists so it’s not that big of a deal I guess. Not that we all had a huge fight or a bad falling out. Life just separated us into our own ways. Jon is at LLU, Ivank is at CSUSB I think, Cin works at Starbs, Han is back from Philippines, Brit is at PUC, Sam is at SAU, Bry is at UCLA, and I’m at UCR. Some of us stay in touch but I lost close contact with most of them. I’m sure we’re all a little more grown now and trying to live our best lives.

God is forever a part of me but I’m just not as spiritual as I used to be in my earlier blog posts. I was so intentional about my faith; it was a time when I was so on fire for Christ and in the people around me too. I’m not blaming anyone or myself for this disconnect. God just knew He wanted to be present in less apparent ways in my life. I’m learning flexibility and adaptability every day with the curve balls God has been throwing me these past couple years. Let’s list some of those curve balls here:

staying home for college and commuting, first break up/heartbreak, challenges in my parental relationship, a job throughout my whole first year, loneliness in college when I was used to having tons of friends accessible at school & church, pandemic, not having a car or job for the duration of said pandemic, career change, writer’s block but in terms of production, a long distance relationship, getting laid off on my most recent secretary-esque job, failed attempts to see my boyfriend, term planning stress…. To say the least.

but my blog post is not to trauma dump. Absolutely not. Nor is this trauma porn. I don’t need pity or your attention. Instead, I want to show how my progress is being tracked and acknowledged. The mini and life-changing lessons that stay with me. The ideas and concepts I have been indoctrinated and that I am unlearning even in this very moment. The me I remember and the me I want to be remembered as. Leaving traces of me in case anyone forgets me or if I do take my journals with me to my grave, this will be my footprint that proves that Mintymanda, legally known as Amanda Audrie Situmeang, did, in fact, exist.

so we’re going to be just slightly more consistent with all these posts and thoughts and lessons and see how this ends up. Maybe I’ll do this for a week, forget about the site, go on another three year hiatus and return with new news. I mean Adele and Ed Sheehan seem to be doing well with that process. Hmmmmm decisions.

Heart if Gold by Marylou Villegas//Until Forever by Tori Kelly//Cuek by Ricky Febian